Ashby 1 Scrape Past Ashby 2

Tom Dove's Match Report:

It was business as usual for Ashby 1 as they overcame a spirited display by their somewhat less glamorous opponents.

Disaster struck early on for the eventual victors as Tom suffered his first loss of the season.

He'd bought a brand new Google 9 Pixel mobile earlier that day, and could've sworn  he'd switched the unfamiliar device off - but with Paul's defence in tatters having totally misplayed the opening and with Tom's Queen hovering menacingly, the phone began to ring.

Tom later said "It was bitterly disappointing to lose in such a miserable way, but rules are rules. It's the game we choose to play".

 Typical 'take it on the chin' stuff from our no.1 player.

 Controversy reigned on board 4.

Steve's crippling misophonia is well known at the club, our understanding members always going out of their way to create a quiet and stress-free environment for him to play his chess.

It thus raised a few eyebrows when Patrick sat down at the board clutching three packets of cheese and onion crisps and sucking on a raspberry slushie.

He proceeded to munch, chomp, chew and slurp for what seemed like hours to the rest of us, but must have been an eternity to poor Steve, who nonetheless managed to whip up an unstoppable mating attack.

The unrythmical tip-tapping of fingernails on wooden table was the final straw for Steve who finally let out a scream of anguish, overturned the board, ripped up his membership card and staggered from the room, a broken shell of a man.

Patrick went to the bar to celebrate.

Quote from Steve:

 "The crisps and slushie I could just about cope with - but it was the inept paradiddle, utterly devoid of any rhythm or musicality that did for me" 

Les had prepared for Andrew's London System by downing twice the medically advised amount of Red Bull, but by move 9 both players were sound asleep with Les' clock still running down and eventually flagging. Both were still softly snoring when everyone tiptoed out at the end of the night (can someone pop to the club to check if they're ok? Ed.)

Larry (whose idea of blitz is postal chess with first class stamps) got into a fantastic position, but sadly hadn't left enough time to deliver the killer blow and had to settle for a forced draw by repetition, much to the relief of an out-played Richard.

Last to finish were Chris and Gheorghe.

After a lifetime of moving the wrong pawn on move 1 (f4???) Chris finally got it right with 1 c4.

The result was scarily impressive.

Instead of meandering to inevitable defeat somewhere around move 20, Chris had Gheorghe on the ropes until the very end.

Unfortunately, just like Larry, Chris had left himself too little time to find the winning sequence. Gheorghe gratefully accepted the draw.

Final result - 3-2 to Ashby 1, who maintained their 100% winning record.